Ya know what?

I was thinking things couldn't get any shittier, yet somehow they have. Several times throughout the day now I have started a post that just another variation on the same whinge. I don't know what the fuck I am doing. I'm deeply and seriously confused. I'm not eating properly. I'm not sleeping properly. I can't get anything done. I'm completely freaking miserable, depressed, angry, frustrated, and, yes, even scared.

There is a blackness in me right now that is a whole lot darker "goth". I don't know what to do about it, or with it. If I could be any more vehemently ambivalent about fucking well EVERYTHING I'm sure I'd burst apart from it.