Pre-Fabricated Alternative

Ladies and gentlemen have you ever wanted to hold an "alternative" event? Want to proclaim to the world that your event is the very antithesis of all things corporate and mass-media? Now it's easy with the new handy-dandy Four Elements of Tribal™ alternative event starter kit. Tested time and time again at "Alternative" and "Counter Culture" events throughout North America and Europe the kit includes:

1. Fire spinners,
2. Stilt walkers,
3. Middle-class white kids playing African drums, and
4. Stocky lesbians with exposed breasts and body paint.

With these four basic elements in place you are sure to attract

• Bald men in skirts,
• Bike couriers,
• Hair dressers and make-up "artists",
• Art school and community college students and dropouts,
• House-fraus with B.A.'s in literature,
• Vegetarian cubicle-monkeys,
• Urban "primatives" with no less than $2000 worth of precision-milled, industrially-produced surgical steel implanted in their face and genitals,
• People who keep large dogs in tiny city apartments, and
• Goths with digital cameras.

So who else is going to the Parade of Lost Souls tonight?