Free Car

This is a very limited time offer. If anybody wants the Wonder Wagon, let me know this weekend. Otherwise on Monday I'm calling www.charitycarprogram.com to get it hauled away.

It's certainly not perfect: it's 25 years old, rusting, dented, the driver's door lock is mangled from a break-in, the upholstery has fallen apart, the windshield is cracked, the driver's side headlight is held in place by duct-tape, and it leaks oil (not much, but enough to be unsightly to prissy yuppies), but it runs fine. It started without a hitch yesterday after sitting idle for six months. Brakes, muffler, lights, etc. are all in good working order and it still passes AirCare. If Elaine didn't have a car it would be insured and in use, but for the amount we drive it hasn't made sense to have two insured cars. This offer is to my friends only so I don't have to waste a lot of time explaining what is wrong with the car and dealing with looky-loos. If you know my car and you want it, tell me now.

Frankly, I'm loathe to get rid of it. I've had this car for 15 years. Without serious repairs it's likely to last another five. Part of me is inclined to keep it and start putting money into restoring it. It would probably cost me about as much as a brand new car to get it back to mint contidtion-- which now that I think about it would be the same end-result as buying a new car... I better stop now before I talk myself into keeping it.

Teenage Punks Must be Running Amok

What in the world could this be?

Fireworks at Canada Place?

Yes. Yes, it is.

But what about all those security risks the police warned city council about, scaring them into cancelling the Canada Day Fireworks?

What about the knife-wielding, bat-swinging teenagers? How could this be going on?

Cruise ships. Money. Tourists. Fuck the locals. Fuck national pride. It's all about foreign money.

See you all at the Hongkong Shanghai Banking Corporation Symphony of Light Money
Don't forget to bring your knives and bats.