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mbarrick
I'm tired of answering incredibly stupid questions and pointing out the obvious for the brainless. I get what seems like 300 phone calls a day at work from our first-level support person who, it seems, can't spend five seconds thinking about something before calling me for an answer. And what's worse is that she is just passing on stupid questions from even stupider users. Now it is one thing to get a question about something I am already expert in (for example software I have written myself), but to be asked repeated questions about a new package that I've gotten the first glimpse of at the same time as everyone else involved because I'm the only one who can wrap my head around something new just serves to piss me off and detract from the time I should be spending building things. This doesn't just happen at work. I'm ranting about work at the moment because I just fielded yet another barrage of stupid questions, but it comes up outside of work and I just don't understand it. The concepts behind figuring *anything* out are simple enough. Nothing happens without a cause (ex nihil nihilo fit). If something breaks or suddenly "mysteriously" doesn't work like it used to, back-pedal until you can identify what's changed. Eliminate things one at a time. If you change 14 things all at once to "fix" something you'll never know what *really* fixed it. If you take you time and figure out what the problem really was and what really fixed it you'll be in good stead for the next time something similar happens. And that way the more things you understand how you actually fixed them, the more you'll get a handle on how things work in general. That's all there is to fixing something that is broken: It worked. Then X changed and it broke. X is the difference. Find X. It's that easy. You learn this processes in junior high science class. Or at least you would have if you (or your teacher) didn't have your (his) head up your (his) ass.
It's not rocket science. In fact rocket science isn't "rocket science".
"Lets put a bunch of volitle chemicals in a tube and make it fly."
"Oh, it blew up. How come and how can we keep that from happening?"
"OK. It's not blowing up now, but it won't fly straight. How can we fix that?"
"Fins?"
"They help, but not enough"
"Fins and a gyroscope?"
"That works."
"OK, lets try making a bigger one."
"Oh, it blew up. How come and how can we keep that from happening?"
The basic procedure here is this:
- What do you want to know?
- What do you already know?
- What's missing between 1 and 2?
I've seen four-year olds hook up component stereos. As a matter of fact, it's *easy* to teach a four year old to hook up a component stereo because they generally haven't been turned into "magical thinking" morons. You know what magic is? A cause and effect chain where you can't see the links in the middle. Kids ask questions like, "how does that work?" and "why did that happen?" Adults give stupid answers like "magic" "God's Will / the will of the gods" and similar bullshit rather than "I don't know, let's see if we can figure it out" or "I don't know, maybe you can figure it out one day and explain it to me" because they are afraid of admitting ignorance or just plain want the kid to shut the fuck up and then go ahead and rationalize it with statements like "kids should believe in magic" "the world would be boring without magic" or "some things shouldn't be explained" O.K. Next time your kid gets sick take him to a witch doctor. When the kid dies and the witch doctor blames it on "God's Will" and explains why with "some things shouldn't be explained" see what you think of magic. Thanks to magical thinking most people are out there running around unable to even approach wrapping their heads around the "magic boxes" that are their computers, telephones, televisions, microwave ovens, the car engines, or even a lighter. Start picking people off the street at random and see how long it takes to find a person who can figure out how to make fire without "magic", let alone have the foggiest how to make a telephone or fix a nail-gun ;-).
And just in case you are thinking, what a sad world I live in that I don't believe in magic, don't. Because just because I don't believe there is anything unexplainable doesn't mean I don't believe in the unexplained. I can't prove that ghosts exist, but I can't prove tachyons exist either. Knowledge and belief are different things. Knowledge is reasonably well defined as justified true belief, and that leads to another rant.
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no subject
Date: 2002-12-03 02:01 pm (UTC)Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 02:17 pm (UTC)Re: Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 02:18 pm (UTC)Re: Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 02:43 pm (UTC)Re: Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 02:48 pm (UTC)Re: Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 02:56 pm (UTC)::cough:: not trying to start a debate. Just a word ::in:: magickal defense. But I hear ya, mbarrick ... there are those that just expect things to magically happen without brain-power or logic to trigger its calculated results. Having to play support-wizard to them is a nightmare, one I've shared as a linux/system admin several years back - not fun, not challenging, and quite a hair remover. Blessings to you that some of your patrons will get a brain.
::cheers::
St. Leaf, the Patron Saint of Faeries and trees in the Church of Atratus ...
Re: Nope
Re: Nope
Date: 2002-12-03 03:08 pm (UTC)I do tend to speak my mind but lately I've been more pensive and introspective. Besides, it takes alot to make me angry but when I do LOOKOUT world (and LJ)
Re: Nope
lately.... but it's my mind and if there is a problem to be had with goes on in my mind it is not of my concern....a good quote to live by is "what you think of me is none of my business" because then you live your life for yourself and not how others perceive you...
My latest adventure in Tech-land
Date: 2002-12-03 03:29 pm (UTC)Telus Tech Support: "Hang on a moment..."
3 minutes pass.
Telus Tech Support: "Let's try this: unplug all the cables from the modem, and turn off your machine. Reconnect the cables and start your computer again."
Me: "Um... I've already been doing that, but ok..."
A minute later...
Me: "I've lost the steady green light on the modem. What's up with that?"
Telus Tech Support: "I'm not sure. I'll have to put you through to Tier 2. Hold please."
The line goes dead.
Sound familiar? Anyone?? >:(
Dumb And Dumber
Date: 2002-12-03 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-03 03:31 pm (UTC)Ah, but I have. I'm probably better versed in these things than you might think. My paradigm is not without magic and monsters in the conventional sense, I'm simply not satisfied with "it can't be explained", i.e. "magic" as a final explaination for anything. That in-and-of-itself is not incompatable with the practice of magic. Lots of things work without anyone knowing why (yet). Complexity and choas (in the mathematical sense) can makes some things bloody hard to explain. A fine example would be the jet engine. Until the application of chaos theory and computers powerful enough to crunch the approprate numbers no one could explain *exactly* how a jet engine worked (they just did) and design work was done entirely by hunch and trial-and-error. Just because something isn't explained doesn't mean it doesn't work and never means it can't, won't or shouldn't be explained at some future date.
Theodoric - Barber of York
Date: 2002-12-03 03:35 pm (UTC)To paraphrase Steve Martin:
"Well, you know that many years ago, we used to think that little Johnny's condition was brought on by demonic possession, but today - due to the miracles of modern medicine and science - we now know that his ailments are brought on my a small toad or gnome living inside his stomach..."
Act of Faith
Date: 2002-12-03 03:41 pm (UTC)I've always like the Albanian method of arguing against superstition - by putting priests and other namby-pamby spiritual social hangers-on up against a firing squad and see their magic or belief in the godhead try and save their skins.
Emperor "Hang All The Cathars And Then Let God Find His Catholic Own" Nimrod
no subject
Date: 2002-12-03 03:54 pm (UTC)The funny thing about computers .. if one person has a problem
the chances are that the next person will have exactly the same problem.
If you apply Mikes principals and figure out the solution ONCE
you should be able to apply the same solution again. So it totally amazes me why most tech support people don't know shit
... all you have to do is perform ACTUAL WORK - ONCE - and you have the answer to a hundred/thousand calls. Although the difference here is the minor aplication of common sense to apply the pattern to the situation.
Its just that people have this tendance to avoid work ....
It is truly astonishing how hard people work to become lazy
and how much work lazy people end up doing.
A favourite line
Date: 2002-12-03 03:56 pm (UTC)- Andy Kaufmann as "Laitka" on Taxi speaking to a hallucination of Famous Amos.
Re: Act of Faith
Date: 2002-12-03 04:13 pm (UTC)The priest counter-proposes, "That not a bad idea. But I say we keep what lands in the circle and give what lands outside to God."
The rabbi considers all this for a moment and says, "Forget the circle. Let's just throw the money up in the air and what God wants, he can keep."
Magic Vs Science
Date: 2002-12-03 04:15 pm (UTC)Cognition cannot be measured , detected , or properly observed
weighted , heard , felt , tasted smelled , and has no mass, no gravity. Cognition exists external to physical reality.
Physical 4th dimensional space (reality) is a closed system
Therefore we must conclude that cognative changes (thought processes) can exert stresses that have physical mainifestations
(Moving your finger , walking on feet , or throwing a ball t hit a target) The problem is that the human is unable (unwilling) to accept that he may have greater capabilitie(magic,esp,precognition) and that the rules of physics are not as set in stone as he wished to believe (ie quantum mechanics vs standard physics)
But likewise changes to physcal space can have cognative effects(Depression, Illness , drugs induced mental states)
I think that "Magical" thinkers can't accept that their 'magic' might just be a further manifestation of advanced unexplained science principals but in the same respect scientific thinkers
cling to their 'rules' and 'principals' like frightened children
(becuse if you proved a scientist wrong .. he may have to accept the fact that his work and his life are meaningless and he's just a big geek)
Re: Act of Faith
Date: 2002-12-03 04:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Re: Theodoric - Barber of York
Date: 2002-12-04 10:11 am (UTC)"We'll need to do some blood-work"
Date: 2002-12-04 10:28 am (UTC)Re: My latest adventure in Tech-land
Re: Theodoric - Barber of York
Date: 2002-12-04 01:19 pm (UTC)Theodoric of York: Well, I'll do everything humanly possible. Unfortunately, we barbers aren't gods. You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach.
i like this too...
Theodoric of York: Yes. The Caladrius Bird is placed beside a patient. If the bird looks at a patient's face, she will live; but if it looks at her feet, she will die. Okay, now, Freddy, come on out. [ unleashes bird from cage, but it just flies off ] I don't know how to interpret that. Did you see Brungilda?
and
Theodoric of York: [ steps toward the camera ] Wait a minute. Perhaps she's right. Perhaps I've been wrong to blindly folow the medical traditions and superstitions of past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test these assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method". Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! [ thinks for a minute ] Naaaaaahhh!
no subject
~ Jack Skellington.