Customer Service
Jul. 30th, 2003 10:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mbarrick
This is to compliment Ryan's customer service post.The phone rings, I pick it up, "Hello?"
Nothing.
"Hello?"
Nothing.
"HELLOooooooOOOoo?"
"Oh! Hello," says the voice on the phone. I'm thinking - you called me, why are you surprised I answered? "This is Ari calling from the Completely Imbecilic Banking Call-centre. Can I speak to Michael Barrick?"
I briefly consider hanging up because it is never a good thing when the bank phones, and I'm not in the mood to hear a sales pitch about how if I spend more money with them they'll give me some "service" that ten years ago would have been free. But, on the off chance it might be something important, I bite.
"Yes. This is he." This perfectly correct English phrase never fails to give pause to people with poor or mediocre English skills because it is rarely used colloquially. "Is" is like an equals sign in math, both sides of the equation must match - you should be able to reverse the phrasing and still have a good sentence. "Him is this" doesn't work. The length of the pause generally gives a good baseline for how thick the person on the other end of the phone is.
After a very long pause, "Umm.. I'm calling about your Visa card." I have three with this bank, but I don't press her on which one just yet. "Because this involves banking information could I please have your middle initial and postal code to verify your identity."
Now I think, I use my full name on just about everything. My middle initial is no secret. Likewise my address is in the phone book, again no big secret. This may confirm who I am to them only by virtue of this sort of thing would be had to get right on the spot, but it does nothing to prove to me that I am speaking to the bank. But, as these things are no secret,"R, V6E 3J5."
"Oh, that's not the postal code I have on record. I have V7J 3C5. Is that old?"
So I've failed the secret bank identity quiz, I think. Now what? Apparently nothing... that inspires confidence.
"Yes, months old. I changed my address with you months ago." In fact what she read to me was my postal code from North Vancouver. I've actually changed my address with this bank twice since then. The address she has is almost a year out of date.
"Hold on a sec," she says. "Oh, yes. I see your new address. 1201 W. Georgia?"
"Yes. I changed my address with you months ago."
"I'm calling to let you know that you are a month behind on your Visa payment," she says. "Our records show that this is unusual for you. Is there a problem?" Implying what? That if I regularly missed payments on my Visa you wouldn't be bugging me? Thanks, I'll make note of that: 'bank does not want me to pay Visa on time.'
"Yes there is a problem. I changed my address months ago. Obviously you sent the statement to the wrong address."
"Well, nothing was returned to us," is her excuse. Irrelevant. Nothing would need be returned if it were sent to the correct address. Apparently, in the bank's view, receiving my statement is dependant on changing my address, having them send it to the wrong address, having whoever might be at that address return the statement rather than throwing it in the garbage, and Canada Post returning it to the bank, and someone at the bank noticing it and correcting the error - all within a month.
"But clearly you have my correct address. You read it to me."
"You should have called when you didn't get your statement," she says. So now it is my fault. That's the state of customer service today: blame the customer for the mistake, cover your ass, keep your job. Whereas, like most people, I get the bill, I pay it - The rest of the month I don't think about it much. Having just paid my other bills I was beginning to wonder where the statement was, but I wasn't fretting over it enough to call the bank. "Otherwise you run the risk of having your interest rate increased," she threatens. Now I'm being threatened to be penalized for their mistake. Another fine bit of customer service. No "We're sorry, sir. Obviously we have made an error. We'll correct that right away." Nope, instead I effectively get, "We are not responsible for our errors and will charge you for failing to correct them for us." It's a kind of negative-billing, that is, the ploy where extra "services" are dumped in your lap and unless you go out of your way to say you don't want them you start getting billed for them. Rogers Cablesystems got in a lot of hot water for that a few years ago.
"What do I owe?" I ask.
"You currently have an overdue balance of $X. Your next amount due on the 9th of August will by $Y, making the total outstanding balance $Z," she goes on.
"Fine. I'll put $X on it right away. How come my address was not changed when you clearly have my correct address?"
"I'll make a note of that on your record. When will you be able to pay.."
"I'll make the payment right away. How come my address was not changed when you clearly have my correct address?"
"I have, like, five screens here..." she says, again making excuses instead of apologizing for the error and correcting it.
"I'll make the payment right away. You can fix your own mistakes and send me a statement. Thank you. Good-bye," and I hang up on her.
Five minutes later I have put the money on the card via on-line banking. I wonder if my address has been changed yet?
It was also pointed out to me by Elaine, who overheard the call, that if they did not have my correct address, how did they have my correct phone number?
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 11:10 am (UTC)Yes, but...
Date: 2003-07-30 11:10 am (UTC)Re: Yes, but...
Date: 2003-07-30 11:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 11:11 am (UTC)I like how you kept asking her the same question. That's something I'd do. I don't get the whole phone number/address discrepancy either.
One time, years ago, I ordered checks from my bank's local branch. They sent me the wrong checks, so I returned them to the branch, per their instructions, with a note of explanation, per their instructions, and waited for the right checks to appear.
They did not appear, so a couple of weeks later, I went into my branch to inquire after them. The customer service had no record of receiving my box, no notations on my account, nothing to show they'd ever received my shipment. I insisted I'd sent it correctly, to this branch, yada yada, and on a whim, the rep went over to this mysterious file cabinet that supposedly held items they couldn't explain or handle, and presto! There was my box, with my note of explanation still inside. I thoroughly enjoyed how embarrassed the rep was. He gave me a new box of checks for free. The whole thing was silly, though. I'd followed their instructions to the letter--they were the ones who'd dropped the ball.
Yup.
Date: 2003-07-30 11:33 am (UTC)"Hi. I'm calling from Shaw Internet." I refuse even to pay for cable television from these guys. I reamed out their installer when they rewired the aparment for the service I didn't want. I ended up repairing their damage and removing the old cable myself because they couldn't be arsed. Also, I had Shaw Internet service when I was in North Van because I was out of the ADSL service area. Despite the fact I had the SoHo package with a fixed IP I wasn't alowed to run an SMTP server or a Web server on my connection. I did anyway. And despite paying extra for the fixed IP address they changed it on my three times in nine months.
"I have an ASDL line I am very happy with, thank you."
"But are you paying full price? Are you paying $40/mo.? Wu..." I cut him off.
"I've had Shaw. I don't ever want it again. Good-bye." And I hung up.
In fact I have a commercial ADSL package, which costs $75/mo., so I can run my web server and mail server. This package is $25/mo. cheaper than the package I had with Shaw, and I am actually allowed, even encouraged to run a web-server on it.
My customer service experiences with Telus over the ADSL line, of course, have been as nightmarish as any other. Last time I had to call them I ended up explaining the problem to the less-that-technically-inclined support tech twice before I demanded to speak to someone who actually knew something.
I am becoming utterly impatient and obnoxious in my old age ;-)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 11:41 am (UTC)Re: Yes, but...
Date: 2003-07-30 11:42 am (UTC)The one thing I learned working for banks is not to trust them.
Re: Yes, but...
Date: 2003-07-30 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:01 pm (UTC)So the moral of this story is if you replace people with stupid atomotons , maintain your stupid automotons.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:07 pm (UTC)Depositors have gone from being valued vendors loaning money to the bank in exchange for interest paid and security, in turn providing the very foundation for the bank's profit, to marks to be bilked at every turn. Tellers have gone from well-paid and well-trained employees whose purpose was to instill a sense of security and provide service to keep depositors happy to under-paid semi-illiterate commissioned salespeople who make more money the more they manage to bilk you for.
The banks don't give a flying fuck as long as you make your loan payments, pay your credit-card bills, and rack up the service charges.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:10 pm (UTC)Re: Yes, but...
Date: 2003-07-30 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:11 pm (UTC)They had my address for years and never sent me a bill for MSP
(I was told by my employer that they were covering it - so I was led to beleive that I was covered)
Out of the blue they present me with a $2000 THREAT to my life
When they confronted - they calimed that it was not their responsibility to bill me or inform me of this debt- it was my responsibility to find out I owed them money. Now they wanted to collect on this outrageous debt they kept hidden from me.
I am still trying to work with my MLA office on that one.
Too many groups usuing too many faulty computers , utilizing an assinine system to strealine the workload until NO-ONE gets ANYWHERE and everyone is stressed out.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:21 pm (UTC)Honestly, that has more merit than you think. Although cash itself is problematic since most nations have abandoned any kind of hard currency (i.e. "the gold standard"). Most governments base their cash resources in credit issued by banks. It's all very convoluted, but the crux of it is that the real value of paper money has been seriously subverted over the course of the last several decades.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-30 12:24 pm (UTC)CIBC
Date: 2003-07-30 12:25 pm (UTC)gold
Date: 2003-07-30 12:26 pm (UTC)Re: gold
Date: 2003-07-30 12:27 pm (UTC)Anti-Banking
Date: 2003-07-30 12:32 pm (UTC)Someone from CIBC called me about two months ago and wanted to me to sign up for some snazzy investment account.
I told them no, not interested - and they're basically like "...but Mr.DSC don't you want to make money off your investments?!?!?!?" and I'm like "Well, I'm a communist - so please it's comrade DSC to you - and since I don't believe in the speculative market, so 'no' I don't want to make any money with my banking...."
The long dead air sound of silence that followed while the CSR thought of their next response / reply was priceless!
Re: gold
Date: 2003-07-30 12:35 pm (UTC)Cable Guy
Date: 2003-07-30 12:38 pm (UTC)They laid out this great deal of an offer - which was promptly deflated when I asked: "but you don't mention the TV"...
Rogers: "What TV is that?... "
Me: "You mean you're not including a TV in the cable deal?"
Rogers: "No, why would we?"
Me: "Well, what were you going to hook the cable up to if I don't have a TV - a cereal box?"
Rogers: [click]
Now thinking of it, I should have just signed up and then let them show up for the hook-up and see the cable guy's face when I had like a cardboard box or potted plant set up in place as my 'TV"....