The "Reality Bites" Gen-X job tour à la Ethan Hawkes' character.

[mbarrick]

What have I done for money/food/rent in my life? If I did something specifically to make at least $100 cash or somehow otherwise contribute to staying fed/housed/drunk I'm going to count it as a job, things that inadvertently helped I won't count:

1. mowing lawns
   
2. paper route
   
3. general grunt/apprentice at my Dad's upholstery shop
   
4. selling off old coins discovered in old couches and car seats in the upholstery shop
   
5. cashier/bouncer/stock boy/general grunt at my Dad's arcade/corner store
   
6. bar bets in the local biker bar
   
7. poker and blackjack
   
8. cashier in the stereo/computer/record department of Woolworth's
   
9. student at UVIC
   
10. Radio Shack "sales associate"
    
11. pedal cab operator / running errands for hookers
    
12. stealing bread from the food bank (because I wasn't eligible for handouts because I "had a job" - as if $300/month when my rent was $286 was supposed to keep me fed!)
    
13. befriending people with restaurant jobs so they would give me coffee and food
    
14. unemployment insurance
    
15. delivering bundled newspapers to stores and rural route post stations
    
16. making and selling T-shirts
    
17. drawing business graphics
    
18. backyard mechanic
    
19. groundskeeping (basically mowing bigger lawns!)
    
20. unloading fishboats
    
21. bootlegging for minors
    
22. bank teller
    
23. night shift at a convenience store
    
24. student at Malaspina College
    
25. computer graphics lab assistant
    
26. teaching an adult education computer graphic course
    
27. receiving benefits from my Dad's veteran's pension and my Mom's disability pension
    
28. soldier
    
29. supermarket janitor
    
30. emergency cheque from welfare (when the janitorial service failed to pay anyone and I suddenly had no money for rent or food)
    
31. sharing in an unscrupulous friend's grifting profits
    
32. pipefitter/sheet metal smith apprentice at a pulp mill
    
33. selling the odd painting
    
34. trading my car for rent
    
35. busboy (at a yuppie meet-market - it was hell)
    
36. student at SFU
    
37. begging on Granville St.
    
38. selling jewelry (legitimately) on the street
    
39. video production lab assistant
    
40. doorman/usher for a cinema
    
41. telephone surveys (mostly calling the far north on quality of service follow-ups)
    
42. using his bank card to clean out my Dad's bank account after he died before his creditors could get at it
    
43. cage dancing at the Goth club
    
44. answering telephones and general "person Friday" work for a real estate office
    
45. running around town fixing and setting up computers
    
46. freelance graphic design
    
47. freelance web design/programming
    
48. PC-systems operator / document production for a research lab
    
49. Network administrator, web programming, Lotus Notes/Domino programming and administration for a company that defies definition by "virtue" of it's lack of focus
    
50. Freelance web programming, Lotus Notes/Domino programming and administration
    
51. Lotus Domino programming for HSBC
    

Haha. 33 years old and 51 jobs... and I probably forgot a few things. I was once "warned" that I was going to be one of those people who at 50 will have had 50 jobs. Looks like I got that beat already.