The "Reality Bites" Gen-X job tour à la Ethan Hawkes' character.

[mbarrick]

What have I done for money/food/rent in my life? If I did something specifically to make at least $100 cash or somehow otherwise contribute to staying fed/housed/drunk I'm going to count it as a job, things that inadvertently helped I won't count:

1. mowing lawns
   
2. paper route
   
3. general grunt/apprentice at my Dad's upholstery shop
   
4. selling off old coins discovered in old couches and car seats in the upholstery shop
   
5. cashier/bouncer/stock boy/general grunt at my Dad's arcade/corner store
   
6. bar bets in the local biker bar
   
7. poker and blackjack
   
8. cashier in the stereo/computer/record department of Woolworth's
   
9. student at UVIC
   
10. Radio Shack "sales associate"
    
11. pedal cab operator / running errands for hookers
    
12. stealing bread from the food bank (because I wasn't eligible for handouts because I "had a job" - as if $300/month when my rent was $286 was supposed to keep me fed!)
    
13. befriending people with restaurant jobs so they would give me coffee and food
    
14. unemployment insurance
    
15. delivering bundled newspapers to stores and rural route post stations
    
16. making and selling T-shirts
    
17. drawing business graphics
    
18. backyard mechanic
    
19. groundskeeping (basically mowing bigger lawns!)
    
20. unloading fishboats
    
21. bootlegging for minors
    
22. bank teller
    
23. night shift at a convenience store
    
24. student at Malaspina College
    
25. computer graphics lab assistant
    
26. teaching an adult education computer graphic course
    
27. receiving benefits from my Dad's veteran's pension and my Mom's disability pension
    
28. soldier
    
29. supermarket janitor
    
30. emergency cheque from welfare (when the janitorial service failed to pay anyone and I suddenly had no money for rent or food)
    
31. sharing in an unscrupulous friend's grifting profits
    
32. pipefitter/sheet metal smith apprentice at a pulp mill
    
33. selling the odd painting
    
34. trading my car for rent
    
35. busboy (at a yuppie meet-market - it was hell)
    
36. student at SFU
    
37. begging on Granville St.
    
38. selling jewelry (legitimately) on the street
    
39. video production lab assistant
    
40. doorman/usher for a cinema
    
41. telephone surveys (mostly calling the far north on quality of service follow-ups)
    
42. using his bank card to clean out my Dad's bank account after he died before his creditors could get at it
    
43. cage dancing at the Goth club
    
44. answering telephones and general "person Friday" work for a real estate office
    
45. running around town fixing and setting up computers
    
46. freelance graphic design
    
47. freelance web design/programming
    
48. PC-systems operator / document production for a research lab
    
49. Network administrator, web programming, Lotus Notes/Domino programming and administration for a company that defies definition by "virtue" of it's lack of focus
    
50. Freelance web programming, Lotus Notes/Domino programming and administration
    
51. Lotus Domino programming for HSBC
    

Haha. 33 years old and 51 jobs... and I probably forgot a few things. I was once "warned" that I was going to be one of those people who at 50 will have had 50 jobs. Looks like I got that beat already.

Comments

[sylkweb.livejournal.com]

WOW! I never realized how much you could learn about someone by where they've worked. I have had as many jobs as you, With just as much variety (We're both Aquarians, aren't we?). My best friend is happily married, with the job he wants forever, has the same exact friends from High school, And has lived in 2 houses in his lifetime, And he wrote me an email 2 days ago saying that he used to worry about me before because I didn't have "stability", but that he realized that he could never do what I've done, I have seen so many things, learned so much about people, and their places in the world, In every job I have had, I have aquired a new skill (Even if it includes not shooting a customer for being a moron) :) I'm experiencing life, and I think it is awesome that you have done so much, so what if you had to get past a little crap to get where you are, you will only climb farther, and learn more, and there is indeed nothing wrong with that, my friend. life is to be lived, and apparently you've lived at least 51 lives, I think that's something to be proud of. :)
Uh...P.S. I am a little intoxicated, I hope this made sense... :)

Aaaaah! Aquarians!

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Nope. I am about as Leo as they come... but for some reason I have had a disproportionate number of Aquarian girlfriends - including the evil dyke.

So, yeah, my collection of jobs are not out of an Aquarian desire for variety and experience, but a Leonine egoism and bravado where I'm just not afraid to leave my comfort-zone if I think it will get me what I want. If something isn't working for me, fuck it. I guess that's kind of what I just did. Working for myself was going nowhere so what do I do about it? Run out a get a job with a huge multinational bank. I'm not looking for experience, I just want the best life I can manage (and that's not a material statement). Each job is an experiment, a refining of criteria, with the end goal of living the closest approximation of the philosophical notion of "the good life" that I can pull off.

I'm overtired, so I hope this makes sense!

Re: Aaaaah! Aquarians!

[sylkweb.livejournal.com]

WooHoo! Rock On!!! I love Leos. I have a Leo moon, and tend to get along with them insanely well. I find their need for a spotlight so damn charming. So anyway, I am a Leo ass kisser which works out just fine with my friends (I have more Leo friends than any other). Thanks for not calling me a dumbass for making that mistake, I have no idea where I got it from. I'm glad you seem to know a bit about astrology as well. Wow, "The Good Life" For me is never feeling like I BELONG to anyone, Including lovers and jobs. heh. I guess that's pretty simple. The best life is different for most people.