The World is Secretly Run By Turkeys

[mbarrick]

I realized this yesterday at lunch while looking at a turkey motif carved into stone on the Hotel Vancouver. The motif serves a similar decorative function as the gryphon motif noted by Reptard on his website (10th picture down) so it got me to thinking about the possibility of a grand Turkey conspiracy going back to ancient times. Let's consider the "facts" shall we?

- Why is it that business men and other people in positions of power call getting down to serious business "Talking Turkey"? Is this a reference to a secret language known only by the initiated?
- Benjamin Franklin, A MASON, wanted the turkey to be the national bird of America and put it's image on the money but his TEMPLE BROTHERS decided to go with the eye-of-god/pyramid symbols instead. Was this because those symbols had already been "leaked" but as yet the secret of the turkey was still safe?
- Traces of cocaine have been found in some Egyptian mummies. Cocaine is native to the Americas, not Africa, as are turkeys. This is proof that ancient Egyptians were aware of the Turkey.
- How is it that there is a country called Turkey in a land where there are no Turkeys? And isn't it just a COINCIDENCE that this country contains the ancient city of CONSTANTINOPLE, the portion of the Roman Empire that PERSISTED for a THOUSAND YEARS after the fall of the western empire and was the REPOSITORY OF ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE that was instrumental in sparking the RENAISSANCE.
- Angel Wings: ancient TURKEY SYMBOLISM? In art throughout the ages people in positions of power have been shown surrounded by these winged creatures. This is an *OBVIOUS* reference to the TURKEY BLOODLINE that runs through all the royal families.
- Why is it that people routinely refer to the rich and powerful as "a bunch of Turkeys"?
- How come on the most HOLY holidays we ritually slaughter and consume this ONE BIRD? In cannibal cultures enemies are eaten in order to gain the powers. Is OUR RITUAL CONSUMPTION a means of symbolically procuring the POWER OF THE TURKEY?
- That "G" in the Masonic logo... could it be it stands for "GOBBLE"? You be the judge!

These are just my initial thoughts on the subject. I shall endeavor to report more "facts" about this ANCIENT CONSPIRACY as I discover them. Unless, of course, some turkey gets on my case about it.

Remember folks, Don't let the turkeys get to you!

Comments

MIKE - Step slowly away from the espresso machine.

[verkan-vall.livejournal.com]

That is why I wear this special helmet. It deflects the mind control rays that these foul fowl transmit through our microwave ovens. Also helps with the occassional cheese bombing from scarlete or gruggach.

The truth is out there.

I have to go baste myself now.

"thou hast kept well the bird in thy bosom."

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! What a fabulous piece of "corroberating evidence"!

And on the subject of Turkish misnomers I have a favourite. If you say "to the city" in Greek ("eis ton polis") with a Turkish accent and drop the last syllable it comes out "Istanbul". The Turks didn't rename the city, they basically just un-named it.

Re: MIKE - Step slowly away from the espresso machine.

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Yes, and isn't INTERESTING how microwaved turkey leftovers make one sleepy and docile? Someone has to stop these turkeys!

Yes, Yes, It all makes sense now....

[logik.livejournal.com]

You should tell David Icke...

Re: Yes, Yes, It all makes sense now....

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Yes. But I think David Icke is a turkey.

history lesson

[(Anonymous)]

- How is it that there is a country called Turkey in a land where there are no Turkeys?

Because it was Turkish traders that introduced both New World turkeys and guinea hens (which look like a short, plump turkey) to Northern Europe at the same time. Rather than try and pronounce the Amerindian and African names for them respectively, the English took to calling them both 'Turkeys' after the traders selling them.

Since Turkish traders introduced Zoroastrianism, Mithraism, and all sorts of other mystery cults to European consciousness, I'm sure you could run with that one for a while.

-- Alex

[sylkweb.livejournal.com]

Could it be twinism? Could we be thinking the same thing?! Well, no. LOL...

[sleeplessknight.livejournal.com]

LOL ^_^

I think you're reading just a little too deeply into this one! ^_~

Brilliant!

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

OK, this is getting more fun by the minute. I'll be giving David Icke a run for his money in no time.

This Turk/Turkey connection is great. One other thing I neglected to wrap in is the coffee connection... opressed masses, forced wakefulness, et al... Watch out folks, I'm on a roll!

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Yup, this brain wave (or perhaps this is more like an interfence pattern) is all my own. I left the tin-foil hat off for one day and look what happens... !

Precisely

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

The whole point of this exercise is to show that with a few carefully chosen facts half-baked in a slippery-slope argument and you can cook-up a conspiracy du jour.