Vehement Ambivalence

The extent to which I both love and hate my life at the moment is indescribable. This, in and of itself, is bothersome.

I was feeling and behaving particularly flirty tonight. I think I may have inadvertently offended Trish.

Damn. Even as I am writing this I am oscillating between being absolutely pleased with the evening and having utter contempt for myself, everything, and everyone. I don't like this.

I want to tear down now buildings, rewrite the world, and wallow in every imaginable debauchery. But at the same exact time I more than crave a thousand year old stone house, to stand in the middle of a thousand generations of history, and to live an ordinarily pleasant life of Aristotilean moderation. This is the contradiction at the core of my being. This is the root of my bliss and misery.

I am building without a cornerstone.

Clutching at Straws

So here I am today, feeling like shit but not entirely sure why. This is what I get for a horoscope:

As the Moon spends one more day in its current Sign, your independence is called upon. This isn't exactly a good time to express your needy side, Leo. Friends and family will avoid you if you make too many demands of them right now. It's best for you to work alone if you must work at all. Besides, you'll probably be the first to admit that there are demons here that few can help you exorcise. Go for the roots instead of pruning the branches.

Go figure.

I guess I'd better buck up and shut up.

Sunday morning, 3am.

A few moments from my walk home last night.

The city at night.

After taking all the drunks home the cabs refuel.

The view toward English Bay from the top of the Granville Bridge

My building at night.