It's Cold in Siberia

A Monkey Could Substitute Easily for this idiot Making Constant Serious Errors. I wouldn't be letting it bother me, except I can't actually do much of anything I'm supposed to be working on.

Say, "Arrrr!"

Other potential subject lines for this post:

• Turning quicksilver into gold
• Bling!
• Bonus pirate-points with purchase
• Heavy metal

Yes, what you are seeing in the slightly gross picture to the right is a gold tooth. I've needed this work for years now. As you can see from the neighbouring teeth I already have enough metal in my mouth to make me mad as a hatter (good, old-fashioned mercury fillings - explains a few thing about my personality, eh?). This particular tooth had been filled to the point where when the filling eventually was to wear out, there would not have been enough actual tooth left to hold another filling, thus the need to drop a proton and go gold. This should, barring toffee accidents, last the rest of my life. There is about 0.2 oz. of gold in my face now. I'm horribly amused by this. I always said that when I finished paying my student loan off I would start buying gold. My last student loan payment came out yesterday...

I want one

What you are seeing here is a "uranium glass" vessel made in Bohemia in the 19th century. The green colour comes from including uranium dioxide in the glass, and because of the uranium the stuff glows, especially under black light. How cool is that? Something like this would be ideal for both absinthe and gin-and-tonic.