Institutions, Part Two

[mbarrick]

All I wanted was an IP-address, and they wouldn't give it to me.

After my lovely government and bank boondoggle yesterday today's adventure in mediocrity was with the phone company. As with the bank I threw numerous individuals into utter confusion by requesting something just slightly unusal. The following are instructions for ordering a server DSL line associated with a residential phone line in a 93-year old building:

Step One: Walk into the flagship outlet for the phone company's services in their downtown office and order the phone line and get informed that because of some quirk with the suite, the residential hookup is going to require an installer to come out and will cost an extra $100. Whatever. No choice. After all, "We're the phone company and we can do whatever we want." If they told me it was going to be $500 I'd still have to do it. Go ahead and order the server DSL line and buy the modem. Get informed that the clerk cannot access the system to process the DSL order and will simply take down my information and enter it later. I am to be informed when this is done, probably the next day.

Step Two: Wait a week and hear nothing. Call customer service line and inquire about hookup. Discover that telephone line hookup is scheduled but DSL order has not been entered in the system. Order DSL service again.

Step Three: Two weeks later, phone technical support to find out what IP addresses I will be assigned. Get informed by idiot help-desk tech that I'll have to wait until I hook up the modem. Explain that I have ordered the server package with static IP addresses. Get told that IP addresses will be assigned by DHCP. Explain, no, they won't, and I have to inform a client of their new IP address to they can update A record in their DNS. Get offered the IP addresses of the residential service DNS servers. Thank idiot techie for his "help" and hang up.

Step Four: Phone service line for voice service and ask service rep same question. Get told DSL order is not in the system and she can't help me, that I will have to wait until I hook up and I will find out then. Explain, Uh. No. I need to know this now. Please escalate this call to someone who knows something. Go on hold for and listen to musak rendition of "Just Like Heaven."

Step Five: Ask third person for IP addresses. Get told my DSL order is not in the system. Explain that I have now ordered the same service twice already and proceed to order it for the third time. This requires a great deal of time on hold. Eventually service is ordered, but I can't get my IP address information right now. She'll call me back in a few minutes.

Step Six: Receive actual confirmation by e-mail that my account has been set up and go into website to ensure password is correct, and to see if perhaps I might be able to find out something useful like, oh, say, my IP address assignment.

Step Seven: Receive phone call that my IP address cannot be retreived right now and that "problem" has been escalated. Given trouble ticket number and another phone number to call on Monday. Oh, well. At least now I know my order has been entered into the system and I will have something to plug my server into, whatever my IP address turns out to be.

Step Eight: Bitch about it all in my blog and wait until Monday.

Step Nine: ???

Comments

[bitogoth.livejournal.com]

Step 9: go get snookered and gripe to anyone who'll listen and watch them giggle when you try to pronounce "DHCP" with a lisp... ;D

Telus, static IP's and DHCP

[(Anonymous)]

Just a bit o' information. It may save a bit of time when dealing with script ( the acting kind ) fed Telus tech support moneys. Im assuming that the DSL services you are talking about belong to one of Telus's Velocity server packages. You will have what is effectivly two static IP's.What you really get is two IP addresses dynamically assigned by DHCP. How is theis possible you say? Well, every DHCP assigned address has a lease attatched to it. The lease determines how long that machine will be able to use the IP associated with it. When the lezase expires, the DHCP server can choose to renew that lease or lease you a different IP address. That extra 30 bucks a month ( or more ) your paying just means Telus will make sure your DHCP leases are always renewed. Techically the twerp that told you you were still gonna be using was right, even if he/she had no idea what they were actually talking about. Good luck when you finally get everything set up.

Re: Telus, static IP's and DHCP

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

I know how DHCP works, thanks. If that is the case (which it wasn't with my old DSL connection, but that was through a thrid-party provider), then all they have to do is say, "What is your MAC address?" and then go ahead and set up the reservation. I wouldn't in fact bother with finding out the MAC address of my current NIC and just give them something bogus and then go ahead an hard-code the DHCP identifier that my OS sends out (because I wouldn't want to lose my lease if I decide to change my NIC for whatever reason). Problem and point of the rant is, however, not one person there actually seems to have enough of a clue to actually ask for any useful information or provide me with useful instructions.

Re: Telus, static IP's and DHCP

[seymour-glass.livejournal.com]

the funny thing is that corporations think call centers are the wave of the future...they are immensely cheaper and that's all that really matters to them...the bottom line...so instead of having experts dedicated to a particular area of expertise you instead have a plethora of individuals with a modicum of broader knowledge unable to answer just about any question posed to them...they also have little impetus to be creative in their problem solving or to search out any further information than what is provided by the computer they prompt...of course they are paid much less than the experts would be and so no one with a remotely techical background is interested in applying...so you get people who spew back exactly what they've been fed, and it doesn' improve up the line because most of those people are just managers, and as we know to manage you don't have to know anything about the product your company provides, you just have to have management skills, the knowledge is for the non-existent, or very limited, technical experts...those few technical experts that remain are so busy trying to cover the lack of knowledge of the call center they rarely have time to actually solve the problems of the customers who need their assistance...so in the long run the call center can "seem" to provide the average customer (who has little or no knowledge of what they are asking about) with an answer which is designed to buy the company extra time, rather than provide service...but it can't deal with anyone who is remotely sophisticated in knowledge about networks and systems...vive le future!!!