Omigod!Omigod!Omigod!Omigod!

[mbarrick]

"You never know what the tide is going to bring in" - how about a three-kilometer high tidal wave that sneaks up behind you and smacks you in the head with the aft section of the Titanic?

First of all this is a direct quote from my horoscope today "Open a surprise from the past that you sent yourself in a letter."

Now this is a direct quote from the e-mail I just got from Suzanne!! "I am so sorry for not answering the letter you sent me. I don't even remember how long ago it was, and I think you sent it to my old house."

That was over a year ago. This is Suzanne! The one that got away. The one that I've spent the last seven years kicking myself over for having married Dianna instead of following through with her. She just e-mailed me out of the blue. She mentioned reading my blog. I've talked about this stuff in my blog. In fact I have on occasion gone on about her at length in my LiveJournal (note the "friends only" status of this post)

Holy crap. l;kdg;ig;oirnv;orijf!!!! Panic!!!

Comment! Help!!! Say something. I'm freaked. Stunned. Literally shaking.

Comments

[opium.livejournal.com]

Hah! That's bizarre. But hey, she could be pleasantly surprised by what she read. It saves you having to tell her or not being able to tell her ;)

[bonez.livejournal.com]

hehe good news!

Correction

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Heh. I looked up the letter she's referring to - I sent it June 1998! Unbelievable.

[bitogoth.livejournal.com]

so how did she sound? friendly? aloof? "it's-been-a -long-time-and-how-are-the-cats" sort of thing? dish!

Dishing

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Heh. "Friendly? Aloof?" with Suzanne you get both. The first line of her e-mail was "Is this poking distaster in the eye with a stick?" - you have to understand our history, and there is twelve years of it. It would take a while to explain - probably something best done IRL over coffee in some funky Montrose café.

I think that first line of hers sums things up nicely. Words that come to mind beyond "friendly", and "aloof" are "cautious", "curious", and "interested". I have no idea what is going on in her life that she would suddenly look me up on google, read my blog and fire off an e-mail. But then again I've never understood her motives.

I'm not without my own caution. She's wandered in and out of my life a few times now, always resulting in exquisite disaster. Who knows what will come of this.

All I know for sure is just by virtue of corresponding with her again I feel like the king of the world. I feel like gobbling up life in huge gulps, writing stories, painting and drawing brilliant things, planting gardens, building skyscrapers, you name it.

That's probably indicative of our whole relationship. It's anything but stable. It's not fiendship, it's not love, it's not even lust or passion. She's my muse and I think perhaps she is enthralled by the effect she has on me.

Re: Dishing

[bitogoth.livejournal.com]

i think i can understand that- i've had at least one friendship/relationship/lover who falls in that category. we have so damned much in common if he had been female it would have been like dating my own twin. we managed to get into the strangest situations. there's a certain fascination, even though the relationship is like watching a series of trainwrecks in slow motion- you know what's coming but it's a hell of a ride until the end. :}