Cold Feet?

[mbarrick]

OK, I am starting to freak out. I don't know if I want to be married again. Ivana's parents are insane and I am going to have her father living in the basement. Her mother does nothing but meddle. Ivana's kids are great, but they come with their own problems, most notably their biological father. That and the fact that Connor is the frail, sickly sort. I don't know how capable I am to working around someone who is sensitive to dust and chemicals. Commuting from North Van is not a thrilling prospect. Ack. Have I already become too old and set in my ways to adjust to this kind of change?

And then there is what is bothering me more than anything else: Ivana hasn't gotten the ring sized yet. She's not actually wearing it. That really disturbs me.

Then there are the clubs. I know I can't be a club kid forever, but I miss going out as much as I used to. I can see things that bothered me when I was with Dianna starting to happen with Ivana and I'm afraid I may be setting myself up for the same kind of misery again.

I'm afraid there is a sick part of me that wants to be miserable, that is setting me up to be dumped agian just for an excuse to get so blind drunk every Saturday that Sunday disappears entirely.

I'm really scared I might be making a horrible mistake for everyone involved.

Comments

You're absolutely right

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

Almost without exception, when I have problems in my life they simply come from not facing the things I am afraid of.