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Enough to fill a bucket.
Why didn't I listen to my father?
Jul. 23rd, 2001 04:01 pmGaaaagh. This place is going to make me crazy. I need to find a way to preserve my sanity until I can find something else to do. Either that or I'll simply have to let myself go mad and run with it. There is freedom in lunacy.
What I am lamenting at this point is that I didn't just follow in my father's footsteps, apprentice at his upholstery shop and live my life working at a satisfying, hands-on business. I could be in Duncan, living in a house that was paid for, working in the shop I loved as a kid... but who am I kidding? I would have found things to loathe about that life just the same as this one. I think I may be hard-wired for perpetual dissatisfaction.
But on the flip side of that, I didn't really pick this career track. I just let it happen to me. Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean it's what I want to do.
What I am lamenting at this point is that I didn't just follow in my father's footsteps, apprentice at his upholstery shop and live my life working at a satisfying, hands-on business. I could be in Duncan, living in a house that was paid for, working in the shop I loved as a kid... but who am I kidding? I would have found things to loathe about that life just the same as this one. I think I may be hard-wired for perpetual dissatisfaction.
But on the flip side of that, I didn't really pick this career track. I just let it happen to me. Just because I'm good at something doesn't mean it's what I want to do.
Warning: Angst Ahead.
Jul. 22nd, 2001 11:26 amI seem to have lost the ability to give a shit about anything.
Now with that in mind let's take a look at the word "apathetic" :
A: From Greek a-. A negative prefix meaning "not" or "without". E.g. atom, "Not cuttable"; amoral, "without morals".
Pathetic: You know this word. See where I am going?
But really, I'm just not having any fun anymore. I'm not happy. I'm not inspired. I'm not excited about anything. I'm not even angry about anything. There is nothing I want see. Nothing I want to do. I am completely without purpose, entirely ineffectual, absolutely insipid.
There is nothing about my life that is particularly pitiable. If I had an ordinarily happy life I would be content to be just happy. But what I have ended up with is an ordinarily miserable life. I'm not so interesting as to be pathetic, thus (intentionally twisting the word) I am apathetic.
Now with that in mind let's take a look at the word "apathetic" :
A: From Greek a-. A negative prefix meaning "not" or "without". E.g. atom, "Not cuttable"; amoral, "without morals".
Pathetic: You know this word. See where I am going?
But really, I'm just not having any fun anymore. I'm not happy. I'm not inspired. I'm not excited about anything. I'm not even angry about anything. There is nothing I want see. Nothing I want to do. I am completely without purpose, entirely ineffectual, absolutely insipid.
There is nothing about my life that is particularly pitiable. If I had an ordinarily happy life I would be content to be just happy. But what I have ended up with is an ordinarily miserable life. I'm not so interesting as to be pathetic, thus (intentionally twisting the word) I am apathetic.
