Pseudocode Representation of How to Screw Up a Weekend

constant LACKOFSLEEP = TRUE
constant DEADLINE = TRUE
var panic = 0
 
if ( LACKOFSLEEP AND usingComputer ) then mistakes = TRUE
if ( installing ( Microsoft OR Adobe )  AND ( mistakes = TRUE ) ) then 
  REPEAT 
    uninstall
    wait ( 3 hours )
    reinstall
    wait ( 3 hours )
    error = (random() * 437) + 1
    if DEADLINE then panic++
    usefulHelp = Google (error)
    if usefulHelp = FALSE then 
      call Support (error)
      wait ( 3 hours )
      usefulHelp = FALSE
    end if
    if usefulHelp = TRUE then error--
  UNTIL error = 0
end if

1993(?)

Behold my (rejected) suggestion for the first round of alt.gothic t-shirts. This would have been 1993 (or maybe 1992... I don't remember) and done on my 386SX with (most likely) "Deluxe Paint II". This is the best version of it I have managed to find. Prior to accidentally finding this tonight (hooray for stumbleupon!) the only other version I'd ever managed to find was the tiny one in the icon for this post. I used to have this painted on the back of my leather jacket.