A Really Sucky Night

[mbarrick]

I cannot begin to express how utterly nauseating (in a Sartrean sense) and miserable tonight was. She gave back the ring and I lost my composure. Grown man crying time. Never a pretty sight. I fucked this up. Why? Because I am a mess. I am Rip Van Winkle before his nap. I'm Woody Allen. I am completely oblivious as to what I really want out of life and I drag people along from the ride as I make one fuck up after another. I am, in fact, so pathetic that I suck up for sympathy in my blog.

I really need to get my head screwed on straight.

Comments

What you need...

[logik.livejournal.com]

Is a really hot bath, lit only by candles, a decent bottle of wine and a big ass box of chocolates. Also it would probably help to listen to Christian Death od Fields of the Nephilim really loudly. I know everyone wants to help, but it totally sounds like you need some thinking space and time to relax and think.
For some of us guys it is pretty hard to relax and accept sympathy during a period of crisis. It somehow makes it feel worse. It's the old "suffer not your tribe to tend your wounds" mentality that comes along with a set of family jewels. My suggestion is simply to find some private time, alone and with all the luxuries that you can afford. It will give you time to think and breath. When you are ready to be social again, let me take you out for a drink or two so you can vent...

I am not going to even try to tell you to buck up. It is probably too painful right now. Instead, I just hope that you do try to treat yourself to some R&R over the next few days. Take a day or two from work to relax and do your own thing. If ya need to beat yourself up a bit to feel better, go ahead. Just make sure that you leave enough of yourself left to pour beer into.

Seriously though, do try the bath / wine / chocolate thing. I think it can cure damn near anything.

Re: What you need...

[mbarrick.livejournal.com]

All good suggestions, but not doable at this point. I'm still sharing the house with her, her kids, and her father. It's a damn good thing I like my job and have a nice office. I'm going to be here a lot for the next while.