Michael R. Barrick

I've been working on a brilliant idea for a social networking site. It's revolutionary. I call it "The Pub."

Thanks to the miracle of convergent technologies you don't even need a desktop computer, you can use your cell phone or even a land-line. Send someone a text message or use a voice call and invite them to "The Pub."

"The Pub" is not hosted on a single server, clustered servers or even cloudspace, but a revolutionary IRL system with millions of nodes distributed world-wide - there's one in practically every neighbourhood already! "The Pub" in your in your neighbourhood (there may even be more than one!) will most likely be run my a local "Pub Owner" although sometimes several nodes are operated by one company and your local node will have a "Pub Manager." The neat thing here is that instead of sitting a home in front of a manky monitor that hasn't been dusted in months (if ever) and typing on a manky keyboard with the remnants of three years of sandwich crumbs, potato-chip crumbs, some nacho bits, and what's left of that beer you once spilled on it you actually leave the house and physically go to "The Pub" in your neighbourhood where, typically, there will a TV or two that has never been dusted and you can sit a table or booth with three years of sandwich crumbs, potato-chip crumbs, some nacho bits, and what's left of the beer the person who was there before you spilled. "So what's so different about that?" you ask. Well, wait until your friends start showing up - that's where it gets fun. You can share your table or booth at the pub with your friends while engaging in real-time chat, interactive games like "Darts", "Pool" and others, and drink actual beer and spirits brought to you by employees of "The Pub." We call them "waitresses" if female or "waiters" if they are male. Or you can also go directly to the "bartender" and fetch your own drinks. You can earn points with your friends by buying them beer. You can also make new friends by chatting with them or buying them beer. You might even meet that special someone.

"The Pub" is an amazing new way to meet real people in your area. Don't miss out, visit "The Pub" tonight!

Q. If you see someone from East Van on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.

Q: Why does the Fraser River run past Surrey and Richmond?
A: Because if it walked it'd get hit by a street-racer.

Q. What is someone from Richmond's idea of "thinking outside the box"?
A. Shopping on Robson St. instead of going to a mall.

Q: What do you call someone from East Van in a house in West Van?
A : A burglar.

Q: What's the first question at the Sur-Del pub quiz night ?
A: What you looking at?

Q: What do you call someone from New West in a tie?
A : The accused.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Surrey?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: What do you say to someone from Langley in a uniform?
A: Big Mac and fries please.