The landscape of ex-girlfriends

So there is one thing about my job that is occasionally disturbing. The view out the window from my cubicle faces a small park that I associate with a very intense emotional moment. It's where I had to say goodbye to a girl eleven years ago. This girl remained the ideal by which I judged other women for years à la Reive's "Megan Andrews Rule". In fact, because she was staying at what is now the Renaissance Hotel, which is just around the corner from my office the whole area is steeped in memories of her. It doesn't help that on a subsequent visit (which had serious ramifications on my life - it's a long story) she stayed at another hotel just around the corner in the opposite direction. My office is in the centre of this space that is crawling with memories of her.

It is the result of a larger "problem". I have a tendency to remember altogether too much. It is why I am such a fountain of useless information. I am also a creature of habit and I don't like moving around. I have a few favourite places and things to do and have only ever moved my home out of necessity. These things in combination add up to the fact that everywhere I go there is some memory, some ghost of someone who used to be in my life. Vancouver has become the landscape of ex-girlfriends.

Fuck

I am screwed. The bank still hasn't returned my money, which is completely useless because the cheque was dated for the 15th. At this point I'm not going to have the money back before the date the cheque was written for in the first place. The point of post dating the cheque was to pay my rent on time, but because they ran it though regardless of the date my rent bounced, so now my rent is not going to be paid until I get paid of the 15th. That's precisely what I went through copious effort to avoid. I can't express how angry I am.

I won't be evicted

I went down to the bank and made them give me a money order to replace the bounced rent cheque. What a mess, but it is over now, mostly. I'm sure the student loan people will be screaming at me again soon enough. To hell with them, other than the two post-dated cheques they already have they are not going to get another post-dated cheque from me. I will make my monthly payments only after I have sufficient funds in my account. I am not giving them the opportunity to fuck me over like this again.

I can't wait until the money starts coming in on Tuesday. I'm tired of people being on my ass. I want to get my bills paid and just get on with things. Soon, soon...

And here is today's comic, which speaks to my art-school experience.

I really should find something better to do with my spare time.

I SEE: things at face value.
I NEED: nothing more than anyone else.
I FIND: I forget the above from time to time.
I WANT: to relax.
I HAVE: artificial problems imposed by other people.
I WISH: I had a Guinness.
I LOVE: my kitties.
I HATE: that I don't do more.
I MISS: care-free summers when I was younger.
I FEAR: homelessness.
I FEEL: a dull ache in my right shoulder.
I HEAR: my conscience chiding me for wasting time on this.
I SMELL: stale coffee.
I CRAVE: fresh coffee.
I SEARCH: for real happiness.
I WONDER: all the time.
I REGRET: marrying the wrong person.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

SMILED?: A few minutes ago when Evilyn messaged me.
LAUGHED?: Last night, watching "This Hour has 22 Minutes"
CRIED?: A few weeks ago, I won't say why.
BOUGHT SOMETHING? Yesterday, a doughnut at work.
DANCED?: Last Sunday at Sanctuary. Daevina made a big deal of it again ;-)
WERE SARCASTIC?: Who me? Sarcastic? p-sha!
KISSED SOMEONE?: A week ago Thursday.
TALKED TO AN EX?: Last Sunday at Sanctuary.
WATCHED YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?: Last week.
HAD A NITEMARE?: About thirty years.

A LAST TIME FOR EVERYTHING.......

LAST BOOK YOU READ: "The Martians", by Kim Stanley Robinson
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: "So I Married an Ax Murderer"
LAST SONG YOU HEARD: Vicious Pink, Fetish
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: A coffee.
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: This morning
LAST THING YOU ATE: A pepperoni stick last night.

DO YOU...

SMOKE?: Occasionally.
DO DRUGS?: Not anymore.
HAVE SEX?: Yes.
SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?: No.
LIVE IN THE MOMENT?: I remember the past, live in the present and plan for the future.
HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?: Sort of. Not really. I don't know. Why is nothing simple?
HAVE A DREAM THAT KEEPS COMING BACK?: No recurring dreams.
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: No. I have no musical talent.
BELIEVE THERE IS LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?: How could there not be?
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE?: Too often.
STILL LOVE HIM/HER?: Who she was, yes. I don't know her now.
READ THE NEWSPAPER?: There are no good newspapers anymore.
HAVE ANY GAY OR LESBIAN FRIENDS?: Yes. And a lesbian ex-wife.
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?: No. That necessarily requires a belief in some higher power to orchestrate the miracles.
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER?: Yes.
CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLERANT OF OTHERS?: Only when they aren't fucking morons.
CONSIDER LOVE A MISTAKE?: Love no. Lust can be.
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL?: Most kinds. Not all.
HAVE A FAVORITE CANDY?: I like so many types of candy I can't pick.
BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: To a limited extent.
BELIEVE IN MAGIC?: No.
BELIEVE IN GOD?: No.
PRAY?: To whom? See above.
GO TO CHURCH?: Why?
HAVE ANY SECRETS?: Yes.
HAVE ANY PETS: Tharsis and Jazz, my kitties!
DO WELL IN SCHOOL?: I did. I'm done with that now.
GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO COLLEGE?: I did. When I retire I will go back. I intend to spend my old age collecting impractical degrees.
HAVE A MAJOR?: A majored in visual art.
TALK TO STRANGERS THAT INSTANT MESSAGE YOU?: No.
WEAR HATS?: I wear my black toque when it is cold.
HAVE ANY PIERCINGS?: No. I refuse to.
HAVE ANY TATTOOS?: No. I used to consider it. Now I wouldn't.
HATE YOURSELF?: No. Only hate what I haven't done.
HAVE AN OBSESSION? Only little ones that come and go.
HAVE A SECRET CRUSH?: Yes.
DO THEY KNOW YET?: No!!
COLLECT ANYTHING?: I've collected coins. I've been thinking of taking it up again.
HAVE A BEST FRIEND?: Yes.
WISH ON STARS?: Yes, an old habit. It never works.
LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: Yes. I get random compliments from strangers on my handwriting.
HAVE ANY BAD HABITS?: A few. I hide them.
CARE ABOUT YOUR LOOKS?: Yes and no. I like to look good but I am not obsessive about it.
BELIEVE IN WITCHES? I have dated several.
BELIEVE IN SATAN?: No.
BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?: Yes.

ZelleFallhammer

My employee ID card

Get ready to laugh, if you aren't laughing already. I've been meaning to put this up for a while... behold my employee ID card! It's been a few years since I had to pack one of these things around at work. What I can't figure out is how they believe this is any kind of security measure. It would take about 15 minutes to make one (like the C6 passes I made for Nicole and Myriam last year). The swipe card that goes along with this is the only thing that is of any real use since you can't get anywhere without one and they are individually numbered. This photo ID is just a goofy throwback to the days before desktop publishing.

I kind of like the picture, though. I was totally not ready and just about to laugh when she snapped the picture.

In the survey I mentioned that "This Hour has 22 Minutes" made me laugh out loud, but I didn't say why. It was the following statement: "Every day is pain and the last one kills you."

I noticed a headline

Walking past a row of newspaper boxes a moment ago I noticed a headline; 'Half of Canadians Fear Tapwater". My first thought was, statistically, half of Canadians are of below average intelligence.